October flew by and November is more than half over. Can you believe it? Less than a week until Thanksgiving! I feel so unprepared this year. I've been engaged for 2 months now, I spent a week in Disney with the family, I've booked a caterer, a baker, a photographer, the church, the reception venue, decided on the florist (tentatively,) spent a little time with the Roommates (minus my RJo,) and last night I got to bring home my wedding dress, which was a whole size smaller than the one I originally ordered! For the most part the past month has been awesome.
But then there's the couple of things that have not been awesome. There's a situation in my family that is currently tearing some of us apart and breaking all of our hearts. Two people that I love very much may be ending their marriage and I'm devastated. Some days I just cry until my head hurts or I fall asleep. Sometimes I am just so angry with the selfishness that is guiding their choices that I want to shake them. Other times I pray for God to just suspend free will for a little bit and just MAKE THEM do what they're supposed to do. I know that God can heal their marriage. I know that He wants to restore their love for each other. But even though I know it, I feel this dread that the decision is already made, that they've already divorced each other in their hearts and minds, and I feel so crushed. I don't feel the victory that can be won.
I know that this inability to feel victory and the dread that I feel are my fault. I've not prayed enough. I've not spent enough time on my knees and in the Word for these two. I've not spent the time in prayer I've needed to period. When I've been away from prayer and my Bible and then come back to it, it is literally like taking a long, slow drink from a spring after a drought. And yet I've put off the drink that's available to me and have been content to remain thirsty.
Victory. Peace. Joy. Contentment. Abundance. Love. That is what I want them to know and experience. Not abundance of possessions... they already have that. I want the rest of their cup to overflow. I want mine to as well.
I need a me and God day.
Just a girl trying to figure out the heck comes next, and trying to remember not to worry about it so much that I forget to live in what happens now.
About Me
- Crystal
- Murfreesboro, TN
- I'm a 30-something female living in a college town. I love Dr. Pepper, (but am trying to give it up) my friends, (I am not trying to give them up,) my family, and Jesus. Not in that order. Jesus is SO much better than Dr. Pepper (and all the rest.) I have a job, a dog, a fiance, a (sometimes) running car and am growing out wedding hair.
My 101 in 1001
not yet... but soon.
in progress
finished!
1. Take a cake decorating class.
2. Take a flower arranging class.
3. Except for student loans, get out of debt.
4. Go a full month without Dr. Pepper. 6/12-7/12. It was hell.
5. Go to bed before midnight 4 days of every week for three months. (been more than 3 months now, it's habit.)
6. Lose the weight.
7. Get a dog. (brought Gracie home 3/12/10)
8. Take Gracie to obedience classes.
9. Work on my novel every day for 2 months, even if I only get out 50 words.
10. Read the Bible cover to cover.
11. Get a passport.
12. Tie a note to a balloon and let it go. (August, 2010)
13. Bring my lunch to work 100 times – (15/100)
14. Build an emergency fund of $1,000.
15. Open a checking account. (October 24. 2010)
16. Finish writing this freaking list. 3/21/10
17. Lead my Gracie through the Canine Good Citizen Test.
18. Walk "across Tennessee" (6/432 miles)
19. Pay for the person behind me in the drive-thru (4/28/10)
20. Tithe for 3 straight months.
21. Meet 5 old friends I've reconnected with on Facebook but haven't seen since high school for lunch. (0/5)
22. Send 50 Christmas cards
23. Get a new car.
24. No pizza for 3 months. (Starting 3/9/10.)
25. Take 10 one day breaks from the internet. Work sites at work don't count. (2/10)
26. Host a dinner party.
27. Keep room clean for a month.
28. Forgive Joey. For real this time.
29. Mail in a secret to Post Secret
30. Use my whole tanning package in a short enough time that I actually get a tan.
31. Go to the zoo without children and see ALL the animals.
32. Pay my phone bill on time for 6 months.
33. Print & frame a picture that I took.
34. Finally buy some Chanel No. 5.
35. Save $500 to take on my trip... not including hotel and airfare.
36. Learn to make Irish soda bread.
37. Learn to make zucchini bread.
38. No ice cream for a month.
39. Achieve leading at work for 3 months.
40. Go on a trip with my mom. (4/9-11)
41. Bake/cook something for my neighbors.
42. Bake cookies for the girls in the office.
43. Travel to 5 states I've never been to before.
44. Attend the symphony.
45. Try 10 new restaurants. (10/10) finished October, 2010
46. Walk a 5K.
47. Go to a wine tasting. (4/15/2011)
48. Go to the Renaissance Fair.
49. Get a massage. (3/28)
50. Go on a mission trip.
51. Go to church every Sunday for 5 months (unless ill.)
52. Go to Sunday school every week for 3 months.
53. Crochet a baby blanket.
54. Go to Omega Phi Alpha Convention
55. Go to 3 plays. (2/3)
56. Go back to school.
57. Get my teeth fixed.
58. Send a package to Mason.
59.Send a package to Tyler.
60. Send a package to Mallie.
61. Send a package to Sydney.
62. Finish laundry every week for 2 months.
63. Set a budget and adhere closely to it for 3 months
64. Paint again - a three panel painting for over the bed.
65. Have Mallie over for the weekend. (June 11-13)
66. Build a better relationship with my sister-in-law. Pretty sure this is as good as it's going to get. :(
67. Go see Grandmother every two weeks for 6 months.
68. Send flowers to someone. (February)
69. Send Jacob Marler something cool.
70. Write my politicians to ask them to vote against the president's health care plan. 3/18/10
71. Yoga video every other day for three months.
72. Other workout video every other day for three months.
73. Read 5 nonfiction books.
74. Go through Financial Peace and go to each session.
75. Finish Beth Moore David study.
76. Write 5 letters and include either mom's chicken casserole recipe, the spiced apple cider recipe or Mema's sugar cookie recipe.
77. Order flags for G, B and D.
78. Jog for 20 minutes straight.
79. Drink 5 glasses of water a day for 3 weeks.
80. Plant a tree.
81. Take snack to Gabe's pack.
82. Buy 3 daring accessories and actually wear them.
83. Make a grocery list and shop from ONLY that list 5 times. (1/5)
84. Cut out coupons and actually USE them for above shopping trips.
85. Keep car clean for 6 weeks.
86. Invite Mom and Dad over for dinner once a month.
87. Take one week off from Twitter, including updates from my phone. (6/7-6/14/10)
88. Take one week off from Facebook, including updates from my phone.
89. Purchase a piece of furniture - real furniture, not assembly-required bookshelves from Target.
90. Use passport.
91. Invest in an awesome pair of black shoes.
92. Find an amazing recipe in Southern Living and perfect it.
93. Organize all the recipes I clip from magazines in a binder.
94. Reupholster Mema's vanity chair.
95. Work 50 hours in a charity.
96. Decide what sort of nonprofit organization I want to start and research.
97. Take a photography class.
98. Take a ballroom dancing class.
99. Finally hang the lantern I bought 2 years ago.
100. Buy an outfit that fits at White House Black Market.
101. Make a new friend. (I'm counting Veronica.)
in progress
finished!
1. Take a cake decorating class.
2. Take a flower arranging class.
3. Except for student loans, get out of debt.
4. Go a full month without Dr. Pepper. 6/12-7/12. It was hell.
5. Go to bed before midnight 4 days of every week for three months. (been more than 3 months now, it's habit.)
6. Lose the weight.
7. Get a dog. (brought Gracie home 3/12/10)
8. Take Gracie to obedience classes.
9. Work on my novel every day for 2 months, even if I only get out 50 words.
10. Read the Bible cover to cover.
11. Get a passport.
12. Tie a note to a balloon and let it go. (August, 2010)
13. Bring my lunch to work 100 times – (15/100)
14. Build an emergency fund of $1,000.
15. Open a checking account. (October 24. 2010)
16. Finish writing this freaking list. 3/21/10
17. Lead my Gracie through the Canine Good Citizen Test.
18. Walk "across Tennessee" (6/432 miles)
19. Pay for the person behind me in the drive-thru (4/28/10)
20. Tithe for 3 straight months.
21. Meet 5 old friends I've reconnected with on Facebook but haven't seen since high school for lunch. (0/5)
22. Send 50 Christmas cards
23. Get a new car.
24. No pizza for 3 months. (Starting 3/9/10.)
25. Take 10 one day breaks from the internet. Work sites at work don't count. (2/10)
26. Host a dinner party.
27. Keep room clean for a month.
28. Forgive Joey. For real this time.
29. Mail in a secret to Post Secret
30. Use my whole tanning package in a short enough time that I actually get a tan.
31. Go to the zoo without children and see ALL the animals.
32. Pay my phone bill on time for 6 months.
33. Print & frame a picture that I took.
34. Finally buy some Chanel No. 5.
35. Save $500 to take on my trip... not including hotel and airfare.
36. Learn to make Irish soda bread.
37. Learn to make zucchini bread.
38. No ice cream for a month.
39. Achieve leading at work for 3 months.
40. Go on a trip with my mom. (4/9-11)
41. Bake/cook something for my neighbors.
42. Bake cookies for the girls in the office.
43. Travel to 5 states I've never been to before.
44. Attend the symphony.
45. Try 10 new restaurants. (10/10) finished October, 2010
46. Walk a 5K.
47. Go to a wine tasting. (4/15/2011)
48. Go to the Renaissance Fair.
49. Get a massage. (3/28)
50. Go on a mission trip.
51. Go to church every Sunday for 5 months (unless ill.)
52. Go to Sunday school every week for 3 months.
53. Crochet a baby blanket.
54. Go to Omega Phi Alpha Convention
55. Go to 3 plays. (2/3)
56. Go back to school.
57. Get my teeth fixed.
58. Send a package to Mason.
59.Send a package to Tyler.
60. Send a package to Mallie.
61. Send a package to Sydney.
62. Finish laundry every week for 2 months.
63. Set a budget and adhere closely to it for 3 months
64. Paint again - a three panel painting for over the bed.
65. Have Mallie over for the weekend. (June 11-13)
66. Build a better relationship with my sister-in-law. Pretty sure this is as good as it's going to get. :(
67. Go see Grandmother every two weeks for 6 months.
68. Send flowers to someone. (February)
69. Send Jacob Marler something cool.
70. Write my politicians to ask them to vote against the president's health care plan. 3/18/10
71. Yoga video every other day for three months.
72. Other workout video every other day for three months.
73. Read 5 nonfiction books.
74. Go through Financial Peace and go to each session.
75. Finish Beth Moore David study.
76. Write 5 letters and include either mom's chicken casserole recipe, the spiced apple cider recipe or Mema's sugar cookie recipe.
77. Order flags for G, B and D.
78. Jog for 20 minutes straight.
79. Drink 5 glasses of water a day for 3 weeks.
80. Plant a tree.
81. Take snack to Gabe's pack.
82. Buy 3 daring accessories and actually wear them.
83. Make a grocery list and shop from ONLY that list 5 times. (1/5)
84. Cut out coupons and actually USE them for above shopping trips.
85. Keep car clean for 6 weeks.
86. Invite Mom and Dad over for dinner once a month.
87. Take one week off from Twitter, including updates from my phone. (6/7-6/14/10)
88. Take one week off from Facebook, including updates from my phone.
89. Purchase a piece of furniture - real furniture, not assembly-required bookshelves from Target.
90. Use passport.
91. Invest in an awesome pair of black shoes.
92. Find an amazing recipe in Southern Living and perfect it.
93. Organize all the recipes I clip from magazines in a binder.
94. Reupholster Mema's vanity chair.
95. Work 50 hours in a charity.
96. Decide what sort of nonprofit organization I want to start and research.
97. Take a photography class.
98. Take a ballroom dancing class.
99. Finally hang the lantern I bought 2 years ago.
100. Buy an outfit that fits at White House Black Market.
101. Make a new friend. (I'm counting Veronica.)
My Blog List
Followers
My mother used to say to me, "Elwood-" she always called me Elwood-"in this life you can be two things:
Oh so smart, or oh so pleasant." For years I was smart.
I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.
- Elwood P. Dowd, Harvey
Oh so smart, or oh so pleasant." For years I was smart.
I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.
- Elwood P. Dowd, Harvey
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