Trusting God in the middle of this mess

I so struggle with trusting God in so many areas. Especially with this whole dating/marriage thing. There's been some bittnerness in the wedding being cancelled after God told me to wait on Joey. I don't quite know how to interpret the fact that I did what God told me to do but that it didn't end the way that He showed me. The night that I sat on the beach in Destin and talked to God about the whole way that our relationship had gone, I heard that I was to wait, that he was the guy. God has made more sense to me at the ocean than anywhere else, and this time was no different. The name that I chose then that I would name my daughter one day was Marina Faith. It means, "lover of the sea," and the Faith part is self explanatory. I can't imagine that I would ever use this name now. It was a promise that I heard God speak to me regarding my relationship with Joey. If God always keeps His promises, what does that mean in the context of this situation? I know His voice. I know what He said. Does this promise no longer exist?



I'm not sad tonight, just wondering many things. It's been three years that I have been full of the knowledge that I was meant to marry Joey. And now I'm confronted with knowledge that seems familiar, foreign, scary, yet exciting: It's more than likely that I've not met who I'll marry.



If God keeps promises, but told me Joey was the one I was to marry, and now that's not going to happen, what do I do with the promise of children that He spoke into me?



I know that there are people that desire so much to marry that never did. I know that there are people that desire children more than their next breath that never have them. Why would God give us these desires but then withold the fulfillment of those same desires?



So much that I don't understand right now. It's ok that I don't understand, but it's so hard to trust. I'm fighting to do it daily.