About the date that went so well...

He told me halfway through dinner that he wanted to see me again.
He has since changed his mind and cancelled. Evidently not a winner.

But hey, at least I don't have to drive to Nashville.

Reporting in...

Ok, fans. (Or should I say roommates, since that's who reads my blog?)

Last night was first date number 8,793. Well, not that many but it feels like it. I rambled. I shred my coaster. (Had a cloth napkin, so the coaster suffered my nerves. He noticed the nerves, offered me a drink. Yes, thank you. That was a good merlot.)

I promised myself a Dr. Pepper for every five minutes he was late. (They're always late. I don't think they can help it... I think it's in men's natures to be late. So I made it a game.)

So at dinner I drank two Dr. Peppers. But, he called to let me know he'd be late.
He showed up with a flower. And he gave me a mixed cd. And he paid for coffee... and dinner... and more coffee.

He emails. He actually picks up the phone and calls. And here I was beginning to think that men are limited to communicating through text messages, (or not at all,) unless it's my father.

I almost didn't go, for no other reason other than I was nervous. Glad I went. Quite glad that I went. It's been a long time since a date was just straight up fun, with no pressure, no confusion, no stress, and no real work for me. Yes, I know that relationships are work. But a first date shouldn't be. It should be easy, light, fun, enjoyable, and a tiny bit awkward... and it was all those things.

And let's be serious for a minute. I would've drank those two Dr. Peppers anyway.

Things I know, and things I don't.

I know that I won't be living here much longer.
I don't know where I'm moving to yet.

I know that I'm going to be an aunt again.
I don't know if I'll ever even get to meet my niece or nephew.

I know I'm getting a pedicure tomorrow.
I don't know if I'm getting "Hey look at me!" red or "I'll just hide over here..." pink.

I know that my roommate and one of my best friends is getting married in 2 days.
I don't know how I'm going to make it through the wedding without sobbing like a little girl.

I know that everything is a struggle right now, from my family to my job to my friends to my finances, to my relationship with God.
I don't know why I just can't seem to make myself struggle, why it feels like I've given up.

I know that I should give up Dr. Pepper.
I don't know how on earth that I forgot until right now that I have one in the fridge.

I know that I'm about to go drink said Dr. Pepper.
I don't know that I'll ever actually give it up.

I know that one guy's calling me, another guy is in almost constant contact, and another has slowly faded out of the picture.
I don't know why the one won't just get it together. It's been 8 years, kid.

I know that I'm tired of not belonging to anyone, not being anyone's priority.
I don't know why I can't make it past the fear or just plain out exhaustion to take the steps to being someone's priority.

I know I need sleep.
I don't know why I'm not asleep right now.