I'm thirsty.

October flew by and November is more than half over. Can you believe it? Less than a week until Thanksgiving! I feel so unprepared this year. I've been engaged for 2 months now, I spent a week in Disney with the family, I've booked a caterer, a baker, a photographer, the church, the reception venue, decided on the florist (tentatively,) spent a little time with the Roommates (minus my RJo,) and last night I got to bring home my wedding dress, which was a whole size smaller than the one I originally ordered! For the most part the past month has been awesome.

But then there's the couple of things that have not been awesome. There's a situation in my family that is currently tearing some of us apart and breaking all of our hearts. Two people that I love very much may be ending their marriage and I'm devastated. Some days I just cry until my head hurts or I fall asleep. Sometimes I am just so angry with the selfishness that is guiding their choices that I want to shake them. Other times I pray for God to just suspend free will for a little bit and just MAKE THEM do what they're supposed to do. I know that God can heal their marriage. I know that He wants to restore their love for each other. But even though I know it, I feel this dread that the decision is already made, that they've already divorced each other in their hearts and minds, and I feel so crushed. I don't feel the victory that can be won.

I know that this inability to feel victory and the dread that I feel are my fault. I've not prayed enough. I've not spent enough time on my knees and in the Word for these two. I've not spent the time in prayer I've needed to period. When I've been away from prayer and my Bible and then come back to it, it is literally like taking a long, slow drink from a spring after a drought. And yet I've put off the drink that's available to me and have been content to remain thirsty.

Victory. Peace. Joy. Contentment. Abundance. Love. That is what I want them to know and experience. Not abundance of possessions... they already have that. I want the rest of their cup to overflow. I want mine to as well.

I need a me and God day.

Hey y'all, let's play catch up!

So, I haven't blogged in a long time. Which means there's a whole lot that I need to catch you up on. Let's go with a time line.
June 16, 2010: Devin and I go on our first date. It goes VERY well.
June 17, 2010: Devin and I decide that we are going to be intentional about getting to know each other, and agree to not see anyone else until we see where things go with us.
Fast forward a bit....
September 18, 2010: Devin proposes! I'm engaged!
April 9, 2011: Wedding day!

So now I've been engaged for a little more than a month and we're smack dab in the middle of planning a wedding. We've done pretty well so far... I really want to get everything done early so that we are not stressing out about details in the last month. And honestly, that whole cancelled wedding from last year has made things somewhat easier since I already know some of the vendors I want and some that I definitely DON'T want.
Here's what we've got so far:
1. Dress: Got it 2 days after he proposed.
2. Invitations: Came in 2 weeks ago.
3. Church: Booked.
4. Reception venue: Booked.
5. Cake: Ordered! SO SO SO excited!! Got the most amazing cake EVER from Signature Cakes (www.signaturecakesbyvicki.com.) I told Vicki different things that I like, and then just told her to do what she wanted. Just wait until you taste it.
6. Photographer: Booked. Again, SO excited. I didn't even have to look around, think about who I wanted, meet with anyone, etc. Sarah Timmons of Spectra Designs (www.spectradezigns.com) will be doing my pictures. When I started my original search, I found Sarah on The Knot and fell in love with her style. She was the only photographer I contacted outside of the bridal fair I went to and she was the only one I wanted.
7. Registry: Done.


So happy. Devin is absolutely wonderful and I can't wait for the rest of our lives to get started.

absent

There have been a lot of changes in the past year. Wedding cancelled, roommate got married, moved to a new apartment with a new roommate and a new dog. I have a new niece and a (fairly) new boyfriend that has taken me to look at rings and encouraged me to look at dresses. The change I didn't expect was the absence of my closest friends. The texts and calls are less and less frequent, and suddenly it's been over a month since I've seen or had a real conversation with people I used to see almost daily. There's been a lot of time alone and a lot of counting days until I see Devin. (3 more, by the way.) Even the friends I do see frequently keep cancelling on me. Tina mentioned the other night that I should have more friends because I'm a such a nice person and good friend. I just feel so inadequate next to others... and the ones that didn't make me feel inadequate have disappeared. Lives are busy. Just wish I wasn't so easily cut from the priority list.

And I really wish that Devin lived here. I'm so ready for us to be able to do normal, every day things together. Errands, meeting for dinner after work before we head to our respective homes, etc. This Devin-living-far-away thing is something I'm ready to be done with.

I'm just ready for people I love to stop being absent from my life.

First date number 864 went...

VERY well.

Coffee (new coffee shop, quite good,) Splice (quite strange, but minus 3 parts, quite good,)Marina's (always wonderful,) and a few hours around City Plaza, the Square and Cannonsburg, (company VERY good.)

He's very nice. We shall call him D for the purposes of semi-anonymity. None of the nerves that I typically have on a first date. It was so easy to relax around him and we talked for hours.

He lives a couple of hours away (I broke my rule,) and we decided that we want to give this a real chance, so we've decided not to pursue anything with anyone else until we see how things go with us.

First date #864

Coming next week. Stay tuned.

<-----------------------------X----------------------O--->

DANGER! DANGER! You are quickly moving in the direction that causes panic. Please move toward the X.


Thank you.

First date number 863.

He was nice.

Sent my mom this message: It went well. He wore a tie and brought flowers.

My mom responded: Let's hope the relationship last longer than the flowers this time!

Touche, Mom. Touche.